Blame the Alcohol Babe
by Kami McCormick
Summary: With no memory of the previous night, Kyle awoke naked and next to one of his best friends. Thank God Kenny's there to fill him in on what the hell happened. But then again... Maybe he doesn't really want to know. If this doesn't scream smutty one-shot to you, then you need a doctor.


**Haha... Sooooo I just realized I haven't wrote anything in about two months... And since I'm having creative issues with my Crenny story, I decided to write this smut filled one-shot of my LEAST favorite pairing, K2. Yeah, I seriously hate this pairing. (-secretlyahugek2fangirl-) **

**This story's based off that really bad rap song, Blame it... Or maybe it's Blame it on the Alcohol... I don't really know, nor do I care :)**

**As usual, my smut is so bad you'll probably want to burn your eyes in acid and swear off sex forever... But then again, I AMMM writing for K2 people right now so you guys aren't my usual Crenny people... Heh... Please don't come after me with pitch forks for this.**

**Hope you like it. Review if you want. Blah Blah Blah. **

**.O.O.O. **

Blame the Alcohol Babe

Kyle opened his tired eyes slowly only to be met with the torturous rays of sunlight that flooded through the window. Sharp pains erupted in his head and he automatically groaned at the sensation. He rolled over in an attempt to shield his eyes from the headache inducing sun. God, his head hurt like a bitch. The read head curled himself up into a ball of blankets trying to go back to sleep. Something shuffled from the other side of the bed as its blankets were pulled away. Kyle sat up in mild fright, immediately hating his sharp reflexes as yet another sharp pain pulsed through his head, and backside. The hell? Why did his ass hurt? With a groan, Kyle slowly opened his eyes to exam the foreign being.

Shaggy blonde hair stuck out in every which way from the tanned male's head. A peaceful look resided on his soft features as the blonde breathed slowly, obviously still in deep sleep. Kyle analyzed the sleeping blonde in curiosity. Slowly, his emerald eyes trailed down the other's sleeping face to his body. The redhead's eyes widened as he noticed the lack of clothing the blond was wearing. In fact the blond appeared completely naked.

Kyle let out a shuttered breath and peeked down at his own torso. A flush painted itself on his cheeks at the sudden realization that he too was completely nude. This could not be happening to him. He didn't even remember anything from the night before.

The redhead's embarrassment turned to rage in one quick second. With a hard shove, the blond rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

He sat up instantly, looking dazed and confused before his sky blue eyes settled on the furious ginger.

"Dude, Ky, what the fuck man?" The blonde questioned dizzily, a mild headache setting in. Fuck, he hated hangovers.

"Don't give me that shit Kenny. Why are you in my bed naked?" Kyle demanded.

Kenny looked at Kyle in confusion. The redhead could practically see the rusted wheels turning in the other's head before a spark lit up those big blue eyes. Kenny smirked all knowingly and rested his elbows on the side of the bed, placing his chin in his hands. Kyle shrunk back a bit from the intensity of Kenny's smirk. It was always a sure sign the cocky blonde was up to no good.

"You don't remember. Do you Ky-Ky?"

An angry blush plastered Kyle's cheeks.

"Don't call me that, asshole. Just answer the fucking question."

"Oh poor innocent Kyle. Maybe I should tell…" Kenny chuckled as his smirk only grew. "Or, ya know, I could always show you. How much you remember from last night?"

Kyle glared at the pretentious blond and racked his brain for every bit of information he possibly could about the previous night.

"You and Stan threw me a surprise birthday party…" he started, "and it was at Stan's house cause his parents were gone. I remember being mad at you two. I didn't approve of an underage drinking party and I hated half the people you idiots invited."

Kenny rolled his eyes and made an exasperated noise.

"Bullshit. You loved everyone we invited. We even kicked Fatass out, just for you."

Kyle glared harder down at Kenny.

"Anyway, Stan got drunk off his ass like usual and started sucking face with Craig. Like always, I tried to help but then you came and told me to just leave them alone."

"The sexual tension between those two fuckers was starting to piss me off. I didn't want to have to listen to them bitch about each other anymore." Kenny grumbled, obviously annoyed with his two raven haired friends.

"Sorry Ky, continue."

"I remember a bunch of people kept trying to get me to drink, including you, until I couldn't take it and just caved."

"Anything else?"

"No…"

"So I get to fill you in on all the rest then?" The blond smirked.

Kyle stared down at the egotistical teen with discomfort. Maybe he didn't want to know what happened last night. "Yeah."

"Well…" Kenny stood up and sat back down on the bed facing Kyle.

The redhead's blush increased as he was reminded of how naked the two of them were. Having Kenny sitting around like it didn't matter made him uneasy.

"After you caved, I got you a drink. Nothing too strong, I swear to God. Just something with enough of a kick to get the stick out of your cute ass and make you lighten the fuck up. And that's exactly what you did. You started talking to people and dancing and opening presents and everything was great. So that's when I decided you didn't need me watching over you anymore, and went to go do other stuff. Then… well fuck, I don't know what the hell came over you."

Kyle's arched an eyebrow in confusion. He did kind of remember everything the blond had said, but it was all in one big blur of colors.

"What did I do?" He asked hesitantly.

"I dunno man. I guess someone spiked your drink or something cause fuck, I pull away from a makeout session with Bebe like, ten minutes after I left you and Bam! You're grinding up against anything that moved!"

The redhead's jaw fell open at the news of his actions. Okay, he did NOT remember any of that. It didn't even sound like him. He was a quiet, bookworm, virgin and acted like it all the time. Never did he imagine himself like this description.

"Seeing as how your 'Super Best Friend' was still getting his ass plowed by Tucker, trust me, I know. I walked in on them by accident. God, Stan probably won't be able to even stand for a week the way those two were going at it. Anyway, being the selfless, noble and fucking amazing friend I am, I left a begging, horny, and half naked Bebe to save you."

Kyle rolled his eyes and spat out a 'fucking idiot' under his breath before the blonde continued.

"So I loaded you up in the car and took you home and. Whaddya know? Here you are! Safe and sound. End of story cutiepie."

"That doesn't explain why you're still hear, naked, in my fucking bed!"

"And?"

"And, tell me why the fuck you are before I castrate you smartass."

"Jeez Ky, get the sand out of your vag already. Maybe I don't want to "tell" you per say…"

Kyle squeaked as the blond tackled him to his bed in a burst of energy. Kenny's face hung centimeters away from Kyle's as his light blue eyes burrowed holes into the redhead's green ones. One of Kenny's hands had trapped the redhead's wrists in its grip, pinning them above the shorter's head.

"Maybe I just wanna show you…" Kenny murmured out lowly. "I promise I'll only do what we did, kay?"

A shiver ran up Kyle's spine at the sudden contact. Why did this kind of… excite him?

He stared up at the blond unsure of his intentions. Slowly, he nodded.

"Kay…"

Kenny smirked darkly and slowly inched his way closer to Kyle's face.

"After I got you away from the crowd, I tried to find out what happened. But you didn't wanna talk."

Kyle's eyes widened as the taller male pressed their lips together. His mind went completely blank. He tried hard not to let out a low moan as the blonde's tongue pushed its way inside his mouth. Shots of electricity shot through him as he slowly began to kiss back, closing his eyes and swirling his tongue around the much more experienced one. The ginger almost whimpered when Kenny finally pulled back. It was starting to feel really damn good.

"I kept trying to keep you off. "He's gonna kill you when he finds out you let it get too far." My mind kept yelling. Eventually I got you away from my lips long enough to carry your drunk ass to the car. Even on the car ride back though, you didn't stop."

Fingers trailed themselves down the mentally stunned redhead's chest to his stomach before gradually making their way further. Kyle gasped as the blankets that kept his lower half covered were pushed aside. Kenny's hand ghosted down his trembling thigh's as his lips placed several sloppy kisses on the Jew's neck.

"How you figured out one of my sensitive spots was my thighs, I'll never know." He mumbled out, hot breath only causing another shiver to run up Kyle's spine.

Slowly, Kenny sucked hard on Kyle's neck, no doubt leaving big purple bruises in his wake. His hand began to massage lightly on the redhead's inner thigh. Kyle moaned out and involuntarily spread his legs a bit. For some reason, this whole scenario was turning him on like no other. Kenny gently nipped down to the others chest and looked back up at the redhead with a lustful smirk.

Kyle stared down at the blond. His sky blue eyes were half hidden by his long blond eyelashes. A few scars scattered across the poor teen's shoulders and down his back. Before Kyle could even contemplate why his friend would have scars, a hand had wrapped it's self around his semi hard cock. Soft lips continued their descent down his chest and his stomach. Kyle's back arched off the bed slightly as the hand began to stroke his hardening member roughly.

"Guess you couldn't even wait to get me in the house before you just had to blow me."

A loud moan of ecstasy echoed through the small room as a tongue slowly trailed up the underside of the redhead's cock. His hands broke free from the other's grasp immediately and tangled in the soft blond locks. Kyle inwardly cursed himself. Shouldn't he be protesting this? He had never done this kind of thing before and he wasn't planning on that changing any time soon. The redhead had never even thought about his sexuality. School always came first.

Another loud moan erupted from Kyle as Kenny's skillful mouth took the tip of his erection in. The blonde's skillful tongue lapped hungrily at the tip causing Kyle to wither underneath him. The redhead glanced down at Kenny as he worked vigorously to show Kyle exactly what he had apparently done. The hand that had once been holding Kyle's wrists hostage had moved away to join his other, pinning down the Jew's hips. He whimpered softly as he watched Kenny take more of his cock into his hungry mouth. The perception of the blond's wet tongue swirling around and his hallowed cheeks sucking hard were starting to get to Kyle. He gripped Kenny's hair tighter as he moaned out wantonly.

Before the ginger could release though, Kenny pulled away, chuckling.

"So you sucked like a maniac and no, I didn't really try and stop you. Who would? Having some sexy ass redhead going out of their way to get you out of your pants? No sane person would pass that up."

Kyle was panting hard and blushing furiously as Kenny crawled back up until he was face to face with him. The redhead's blush only increased as the blond stared down at him. Honestly, Kyle had noticed how attractive the taller male was. He was pretty sure everyone had, so he thought nothing of it. Kenny was his friend and never had he dreamed of their status changing. Now though, he was being to see exactly why everyone wanted to sleep with him. Not only was he insanely attractive but he also knew exactly what he need to do to pleasure his partners.

"After I was done, I figured you'd start to settle down. Fuck, was I wrong! You're new scandalous side only wanted more. I carried you into the house and up here to your room. While setting you down on your bed though, you pulled me over you and kissed me harder than you had anytime while we were at the party. You kept begging me to fuck you. I believe your exact words were, "Oh please Ken, fuck me hard with your enormous cock. I need you inside me now." But you know I was pretty smashed myself so I could be wrong."

Kyle stared up at the blond in horror. There was NO WAY IN HELL he would have ever said ANY of those things. Anyone who knew the redhead could practically see the golden halo floating above his red curls.

"Wh-What did you do?..." His timorous voice only urging on the smirking blond.

"I did exactly what you told me to do Ky."

Kyle bit his lip hard to prevent himself from crying out in ecstasy when the blond slowly pushed the tip of his hard erection into his entrance. The redhead was baffled from the instant pleasure he got from the small intrusion. There was no way anything Kenny had said was true. With that in mind, Kyle still believed himself a virgin… But wasn't your first time supposed to hurt?

Kenny kissed the panting ginger hard on his lips trying to help him not think about what the blond was about to do. He HAD promised him to only do what they did last night. And there was nothing gentle or sweet about that.

With a sharp jerk of his hips, Kenny had Kyle screaming at the top of his lungs. Pleasureful tears cascaded down his pale cheeks as the other rammed into him continuously. Nothing had ever felt so amazing to the ginger. Kenny trailed hard kisses down Kyle's neck trying to re-enact everything he had done the previous night. Another desperate moan left the Jew as the blond bit down hard on a sensitive spot on his neck.

Kyle's mind was clouded over with lust as the other male's practiced hand began to stoke his painfully hard cock in time with each forceful thrust. In no time, the redhead screamed out a final time as he came, Kenny shortly following.

Kyle opened his eyes tiredly for the second time that morning, the cloud of white bliss fading away. Kenny's piercing blue eyes stared back at him. His perfect lips parted slightly as small pants exited them while his shaggy hair stuck to his forehead. The redhead flushed and looked away, already scared to know the outcome of what had just happened.

Kenny chuckled at the ginger's reaction and kisses his cheek. Damn it, he was cute. The blonde ran his fingers through Kyle's loud red curls as stared down at his emerald eyes.

"So then I thought maybe I should go. I knew you'd get pissed at me in the morning."

Kenny sat up and made a move to crawl off of the bed. In an instant, he was stopped by Kyle's nervous hand on his arm. The blond glanced back to see the Jew's eyes staring at him, almost screaming for him to stay.

"But then you gave me that look. Ya know, the one you're giving me right now; and I just kinda figured maybe it was better if I stayed and kept you company til you were completely sober." He mumbled, smiling and moving back to hover over the quiet redhead.

Kyle smiled slightly and pressed a shy kiss to the blonde's lips before the two laid back down, wrapped in each other's arms. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

"You didn't have to drug me to get me to sleep with you I hope you know."

"Just blame the alcohol babe."


End file.
